yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
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