Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
Randomize
