Kiss
Puke
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
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