mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Randomize
