too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Randomize
