Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Randomize
