shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
Barsexuality is the new black.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Randomize