Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Randomize
