She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
Randomize
