i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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