He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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