if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
