8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Randomize
