Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
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