I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
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