sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Randomize
