We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
Found the puke drawer
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Randomize
