i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
