In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Randomize