I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
my god I love twenty year old dicks
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Randomize
