Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Randomize
