Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
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