Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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