How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Randomize
