saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize
