i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
Randomize
