Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize