Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
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