It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Randomize
