ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
You made out with two different species that night
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
