Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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