I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
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