Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Randomize
