just come out here and I will go home with you...
I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
I'm gonna fight the coyote
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
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