I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
