foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
