I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
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