Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
Please don't give away my fajitas
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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