I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
