I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
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