he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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