The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
