So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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