I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
I intend to get homeless drunk
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
