Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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