So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
Randomize
