thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Randomize
