hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
