it wasn't lemon gatorade
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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