I can't breathe out the right side of my face
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
Randomize
