I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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