Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
