So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
