is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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