That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
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