I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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