I think i sorta joined a cult last night
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
My balls are so social today.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
I lost the right to judge tonight
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Randomize