make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
