made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Randomize
