I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
