Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
Randomize
