Yo dont text me then not text me
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
Randomize
